Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i now understand why vodka
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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