dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
