billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
