how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
