mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
