I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
