I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
