Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
