Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
