During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
