sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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