Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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