My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
