One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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