At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
