U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My cat gives me a boner
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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