giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
