i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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