All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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