am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
