your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Vodka?
Forever.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
