Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She needs sedatives and a leash
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
