Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
