My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
