Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
