True but thats because hes a fetus.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
