did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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