I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
