why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
