hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
