Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
