i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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