are you still at the devil's house?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
