Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
