I think I am morally bankrupt
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
