he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
