Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
