Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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