Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
