did you get engaged???
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
