I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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