I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i now understand why vodka
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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