Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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