I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
