I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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