She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
