The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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