the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
