no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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