i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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