the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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