Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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